Cynic Speaks

Atlast government bowed to Team Anna's conditions and passed lokpal bill that Team Anna had wanted. Anna's Fast unto death which media hyped as Second freedom struggle of India comes to an end. All the TV news channels gave almost 12-14hours live coverage of so called Second Freedom struggle for last 14days. Any one thought why? In a country where  people think about own profit more than anything else and news channels, being corporate houses, have profit as their main motive than why would they give 13-14hr coverage to just one thing and ignore everything else? If your answer is that Anna was doing something good for country and media has got some morals than I would say Don't gimme that Shit. There are many activists who have raised voice against many  problems including corruption and lokpal and yet they haven't seen limelight in their whole life than why all of sudden media made Anna Hazare, a person whom 98% Indians didnt even know 6months back, second Gandhi?

Caution : I deeply respect Arvind Kejrival, Kiran Bedi, Prashant Bhushan, Shanti Bhushan, Manish Sisodiya and all other who are associated with this movement

After repetitive question about "how to remove lokpal?", "What if lokpal get corrupted?" etc... ,
Arvind Kejrival made statement that they will take up Right to Recall Lokpal as their next agenda but my question is why did not they include Right to Recall Lokpal in the bill that they drafted?

The lokpal bill draft of civil society keeps NGOs out of purview of Lokpal. Why?

Trivia: The NGO run by Arvind Kejrival and Manish Sisodiya got lots of funding from MNCs(mostly non-Indian) for this movement 

So far whatever I have written might look very much obscure and misplaced but think about this this scenario :
Reliance wants to open new Reliance fresh in some area.
Reliance contacts a negotiator who then goes to collector for permission, collector asks for 2L Rs. Negotiator tells Reliance that Collector is asking for 2.5L Rs. Reliance believes negotiator and Money is Paid. Next negotiator goes to MP, who asks for 5L and same happens and money is paid.
Now, Suppose Tesco wants to open a mall.
Tesco contacts lobbyist to help them. Lobbyist goes to same collector, now collector knows this is foreign party so he asks for 5L. Lobbyist tells Tesco that collector is asking for 20L. Tesco believes lobbyist and money is paid and same for MP.   and this will happen for every mall that Tesco will open in India
Now, We have lokpal.
So what Tesco will do is they will contact lokpal committee. Now they have just 10people to bribe. So they ll say I will give you all 1Cr but make sure my malls get no problem and now if some collector asks for 5L instead of 2L or some honest collector opposes illegal activities of Tesco than lokpal will come and frighten him to suspend or imprison him. So all the lobbyists will be removed and collectors',MPs'  price will be fixed and will be enforced to do what Lokpal wants.
So question arises , Who will guard the Guard?
which means how to remove lokpal if he gets corrupted? According to bill, that has been passed, any citizen can file a complain against Lokpal in supreme court. But A country where supreme court judges themeselves are  corrupted (I hope you have not forgotten languished proceeding of Hawala kand, harshad mehta scam, 2g Scam, Commonwealth scam and so on) how can you expect justice?
So what we need is right to remove lokpan in hand of ordinary citizen which is Right to Recall Lokpal.
But, if that comes than what will happen to plans of those MNCs ???? and we all know that News Channels run on the advertising money paid by all the MNCs, so you can very well guess vested interest.

I firmly believe Arcind Kejrival and whole team is totally honest and patriotic but I also believe that they are very much shrewd people. They knew lots of money will be needed for protest large scale and they wont be able to get large sum of money unless every one sees own benefit in the bill they are proposing .

Think Cynic;)

Independence Day! What Next ??

My mobile watch showed 00:01PM, the day has changed and it was 15th August. I was sitting on the sofa and thinking what to do after turning off television and I saw lifeless "Times Life" lying beside me and the first line I read was "We have only got the freedom to breathe. We can’t talk, we can’t demand. It is a very selective democracy" and I thought how true it is?
Today when government is facing so many scams, question of corruption, black money, nepotism, biased behavior and what we are doing? or what government is doing when we try to demand something?
Government proclaimed Anna Hazare to be "TOTALLY CORRUPT FROM HEAD TO TOE"(?), they kicked away Baba Ramdev and now Baba Ramdev is forgotten name. When BJP decided to attack it, government suddenly opened Karnatak Lokayukta Report" genie but BJP didn't take backseat and took some brave step( sacking CM Yeddyurappa) so government took hasty decision of jumping in the gujarat politics and backing IPS officers who has been suspended recently by Gujarat government and projected it as an injustice but no one even tried to know why he has been suspended. He has been suspended for not reporting on the job got 10month and as media says what government wants it to say, it also hyped the scene.
Today, Anna Hazare Team has been finally denied the permission for the venue for the fast and more over delhi police imposed section #144. And still government is defending itself and justifying the action.
I just wonder what kind of government is this?
Which tried to procrastinate preceding of 2G Scam, Adarsh Building Scam, Commonwealth Scam and many more and now when few aware citizens of country wants government to take precautions that similar scams don't happen, government is saying "We can't do what you want, we will do what we desire".
They labeled Anna and team with "Anarchists, Black mailers, hypocrites" etc but my simple question to government  is Why these people had to come and protest? Doesnt is show lack proper management? lack of law or lack of willingness to provide justice? and when someone tries to tell you what you are suppose to do you just try whatever you can to shut them up.

I firmly believe this is just a starting of the big dirty game that will unfold it tomorrow(oops day changed "today"). or as Srivatsa Krishna just tweeted it will be "Rebirth of emergency of 1975, 36 yrs later"
what we can do it just speculate and do what is right for our country or atleast help those are trying to do what is right for the country.

"Let the Game Begin"
(Song for the moment: State of my Nation (By: Damm It) )

Mr. Band Manager

Yesterday was fun, it was different, there was something new and something that I had never expected. I was with my band Ecstasy but in a new role, in a new position and that is called Band Manager. I had always dreamed of being a guitarist and blowing every one's head off but now I am person who instigate few psychos to do that for me. 

I am not disappointed but it is not a thing that I have always wanted but on other hand it really feels great to be associated with the band after a long sabbath of more than a year. Before a year I was with the same guys but on stage and playing my guitar and now things have totally changed.

There are always pros and cons of everything and so with being a band manager. If I list pros than it will be more money [:P] as ours will be 7guys band (if I were in band as musician) and so my part in money would be 14.28% but now as I am band manager my part will be 15% [0.72% more :D ], as manager my role is - making connection, keeping peace, finalizing gigs, marketing and promotion- and that will be all new experience and will help me being little extrovert( fingers crossed ) and the best thing that I really love being a band manager is more influence on band which means song selection, styling and position and some original music for which I can say “This is my band’s OC”. There are cons too but I don’t want to discuss it as right now I am pretty excited on being a Band manager and ready to rock the world in my new role. 

Like my Band on Facebook

"Lokpal" Bill

 So, candles have been lit slogans have been shouted, Anna Hazare Ji has started eating (and will gain weight, he has lost). In last few days u might had been part of  crowd to support Anna Hazare, you might have lit candles, tweeted a lot of messages, posted hell lot of links on facebook, forwarded messages, send mails to every one in your network to support "Satyagrah" that AnnaJI has started.

So what now???
How about few questions???

1) Who is anna hazare?
2) For what he is famous for? (don't tell me for his work for Ralegan Sidhi village, I want detailed answer)
3) What is Lok Pal Bill?
4) How Lokpal will be selected?(or will he/she be elected or selected?)
5) Have you read lokpal bill?
6) How lokpal bill will bring reform (read revolution)?

Take 5 minutes to think and construct your answers,

Now, if you fumbled while answering most the questions and you are clueless and don't know anything worth answering then please don't curse yourself. You need to neither call yourself outright dumb or total moron because you are just like other >70% of the mass who didn't know anything about Anna Hazare or Lokpal bill but still went on road with banners, burnt candles and did all the things I mentioned before.

No, I don't want to call your emotions or thing you did, total dumb and sense less but I am just wondering how can you support something if you don't know what it is ? Now you will argue that you want corruption free India and I appreciate your feelings but without knowing how lokpal will remove corruption or how it will function how can you know that it will work towards corruption free India? Just because news channels are giving exaggerating coverage or you heard few celebrities supporting it, you started supporting it?  I don't want to hurt your feelings but what I want to convey is that how can you fight for something about which you don't know?

On a closing note, ask yourself was it really your love for country or love for money which you have to spend every time you have to get some work done. You supported Anna Hazare for public good or just to save your money when you get some work do be done?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S :
1) Any one thought about the Perfect timing of this whole movement and dramatic coverage and publicity it got?
2) Any one gave any thought to "India Against Corruption" title ???
3) Any one still waiting for Poonam Pandey's Show or am I the only one? :P

Afridi -> Respect | Not Anymore

In my last blog post I talked about how good Shahid afridi was on field and how he manged to behave like a good human and how he made me respect him but after watching this video,   I take all my words back. Whatever good I had said about shahid afridi, I take it back. Once again he proved he can't be global human. Again he proved that he was, he is and he will remain orthodox pakistani

                                          *******

After Afridi's first interview(Click Here), Many people not only in India but around the whole globe developed sudden liking for him, they appreciated his "brave heart"(?) answers and afridi got exponential increase in number of his fans but it didn last more days. After another interview that number decreased more rapidly then it had increased.

I dont want to talk about answers afridi gave in this second interview because i believe as a Pakistani he is suffering from inferiority complex(no offense!) and things he told about media and hearts of Indians shows why Pakistan is being hated.

The only thing that i am wondering about is how come a statement of a guy can change so drastically in this much short span of time. What could be the factors that made afridi utter such preposterous things. Is it a political pressure or pressure from orthodox Muslims because as it has been famous that to be captain of Pakistan's cricket team you have to be an orthodox n India hating muslim.

But I think whatever it was, it was what people of pakistan wanted to hear. Every one knows (Indians as well as Pakistanis) that it was really wrong to say whatever afridi said. He is a leading figure and as a leading figure and to stay in public eye he had to say something that every one hears and many wants. I dont have many words to explain this but i guess this video tells it all

Afridi -> Respect

First of all "Best of Luck" team India for today's match (though none of the cricketer gonna read this but this is what I can do :P )

Couple of days back India played against Pakistan in the world cup semi final.
What were the expectations from the game??? In my Last Post i described Cricket as religion and followers as peaceful followers who loves game but when it comes to India-Pakistan match, there are no rules and its all like a war. Most of the fans(Indians as well as Pakistanis) wanted it to happen like a war, wanted some exaggerated hatred and emotions, wanted some offensive actions ,in one sentence they wanted players to fight on field like it is a War but not a Game.

Even I was also expecting some high voltage, nerve numbing drama as whole Pakistani team is famous for their aggression(No Offense) and from Indian side it is lead by Harbhajan Sing and Yuvaraj Singh, but I must say ... What a Game! Team Pakistan and especially Shahid Afridi.

The way afridi controlled himself and his emotions, it is really worth many cheers. He didnt win match but he won many hearts. When his team mates dropped catch of The God-Sachin Tendulkar, we can see unhappiness on his face but it was natural but except that there was no scream not he shouted on the players. Even when Umar Gul was literally being THRASHED by Virendra Sehwag, Afridi did what captain was suppose to do, talk with him n cheer him up. When Pakistan was loosing match my cousin commented "Look, he is crying", Afridi was not crying literally but he was extremely sad and who would not ??? When Your team has shown extra ordinary performance, they did what no one, before the world cup, has predicted, they lived upto the phrase "From ashes we rose" and when you loose in the semi final of the world cup and you know this will break miliions of hearts, doesnt it make someone feel extremely sad ??? but still Afridi controlled his emotions and was the first one to come out on ground to congratulate Team India when India won. A True sportsman and on that moment I realized its only Team Australia who are shithead.

I though to write this the day after the match only but i though it will be too early to say something but after i watched this video

Just one word "Respect"

Cricket - The Religion

"Cricket is Religion and Sachin is God"
"Cricket is the only Religion that more than 95% Indians follow"

By now you must have started thinking that this is just another article on how popular cricket is in India, but i feel very happy to let you know that this is not about popularity of cricket in India but article trying to give idea about Religion called cricket.

                                                                           ***

THE country of 1Billion and one Religion, no difference of opinions, no different paths, no different belief ...

I don't think it is possible to have, as the thing we are talking about is Religion.

Different Path:

Hinduism has many path Brahmin, Vaishnav etc as Christianity, Isalm etc and cricket is no different.

We have so many path to follow in cricket

1) Test Cricket 2) One Day Cricket 3) T-20s 

or

1) Batsmen 2) Bowlers

or Country you are from

Different Believers:

We have Theists(who practice religion), Pantheists (believe in every thing), atheists (believe in nothing)

Theists are those who follow particular religion,  they are the FANATICS. You can find many of this category, they will be on streets shouting n screaming with a Flag of religion they follow in hand.

Pantheists are those who watch cricket for fun, they are the critics. It doesnt matter to them who wins or who loose, they just want good cricket and good competition and enjoy the game

Atheists are those who proclaim they hate cricket or they dont watch BS game of cricket, they are the one whom you will find in every office, at every corner of street who knows nothing about cricket and cant understand game of cricket and keep on ridiculing it. 

God:

Ah! This is most important part.

This is the most controversial and debated part of the religion, Who is the God?

but i think most of the Indians will agree Sachin is God of Cricket,

as we(Indians) have Sachin Tendulkar, Aussies have Donald Bradman, Windies has Brian Lara, Pakistanis have Wasim Akram .

When it comes to batting there is a big debate about "Great". Who is the God? Sachin or Bradman or Lara??? but most of the modern cricketers as well as fans do agree that Sachin is the God.

In balling, therse hasnt been any clear result abuot being God. There are many good contestants like Muthaiya Murlidharan, Shane Warne, Glen McGrath, Wasim Akram, being an Indian i can put Kapil Dev , Dennis Lillee but there is no a clear winner 

Followers:

What you need to do or know to be a follower???

The answer is just NOTHING.

What you need to do is get infront of the Tv(or computer or projector) and start watching Cricket, start talking about cricket, start commenting about cricket though you dont know a shit about it. Scream when team you are supporting wins, jump when your favorite batsman hits century or bowler takes wicket. Scream when your team looses, your favorite player doesnt play well. Worship the God of cricket, make wishes for your team or player. 

I think this is enough .... i ll tell u more in next blog ... 

till then keep reading and dont forget to klik some ads ;)

15 minutes before the Start

So, here I was at Shailesh J Mehta School of Management, IIT-Bombay(not Mumbai :P ) waiting for my Gd/PI process for Vinod Gupta School of Management, IIT-Kharagpur to start. The time printed in call letter was 2:00PM so i reached at 1:35 n was waiting for clock to hit 2:00.

To my surprise when i entered there was pin drop silence, no1 was talking(including girls :-O ) n there was no student coordinator (later i came to know it was handled by faculties only). I sat there for a while n searching for some familiar face or someone with whom i can break the ice and as expected there was no1 i found with whom i could talk. While i was searching for some1 to talk with n looking around the room a thought hit me "What others might be thinking right now?" n then i looked around at every1's face tried to figure out what he/she might be thinking ... here are few ..

So here we go ....

1) A guy sitting near to entry (third row-First Sit)
White Shirt, no Tie, clean shaved, rectangular while pale face n looking around with WTF expression on the face

"Damm why there is so much silence, it seems like someone has died or is this "तुफान के पेहले की खमोशी". (lookin at guy who was reading news paper) That faggot thinks that he can get all the knowledge about current affairs by reading news paper just one day , screw him ... "

(n den the guy went out)

2) A Sardarji (third row-second seat)
White shirt with blue stripes, blue tie, dark blue turban, big beard n exasperatedly looking at the guy who was reading news paper

"साल्ला चु** , इसे लगता है कि ये साला अखबार पढ के GD मे फाड देगा ....
बेटा आजा तु GD मे , तेरी तो मे मार के रख दुन्गा"

3) A Guy (most probably south Indian) (third row-third seat)
Again while shirt with grey stripes, light blue tie, neatly combed hair, dark skin n intensely looking into the news paper that the guy beside him was reading

"Oh let me read this, who knows they might ask me important news . Oh ... that a**hole is reading so quickly i couldnt read it completely .dammm this a**hole .. "

4) Guy reading news paper (third row-fourth seat)
I coudnt see his face, he was too lost in reading news paper :P

5) A Gal (Miracle) (second row-first seat)
Fatso, big spectacles, dark skin complexion, a gal with whom u ll never fight :P
Her face was too complex for a naive like me to read so i didn try to read her face :D

6) A Gal n that also so prettty (Super Miracle) (first Row-first seat)
Light Blue Shirt, Fair skin, very slander body, hair falling on shoulder, frameless spectacles, white pale face

"ohh this guys, they are all starting me n that guy in dark blue shirt(me) he has been starting at me so badly, ****. It seems i am the most beautiful gal in the room beside that gal in last row (third row-17th seat), she looks kinda bi**hy, look at her , she is wearing so much makeup ... lovely lipstick n bla bla bla (there must b many things but i dont know much about gals' makeup :P) "

7) A Suit (third row-13th seat)
Dark Blues suit, clean shaved face, good height(must be more than 6"2') ..overall smarty ...

"Oh, look at these bunch of faggots sitting in silence, it seems like some1 has died at this shitty place, let GD/PI start soon, this silence is killin me ..."

You must be wondering what i was thinking at that time ... so lemme tell u
i was thinkin to write this whole experience on my blog coz as i dont pots much on my blog this thing i thought ll b fresh n kool ... :P

there were few other interesting observations too but i forgot em ...
n i couldnt face read that "bi**hy" gal as she was sitting just behind me :P

Why i prefer Guitar over Gal

I am big time guitar freak to extent that once my Ex-GF told me that i love my guitar more then her and after that i thought about it and it turned out that she was right.
After we broke up, i sat down n googled and thought some reasons why guitar is better then gals and why i prefer guitar over gals ...

So, here we go,

· Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played.

· Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.

· Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.

· Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.

· You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to be the proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.

· You don't have to worry about getting caught with your guitar.

· Guitars don't get pregnant.

· You can share your Guitar with your friends.

· You can play your Guitar any time of the month.

· Guitars don't have parents.

· Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.

· If your Guitar is flat you can fix it for less than Rs 1,000.



· Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.

· You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.

· If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.

· You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.

· You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.

· Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.

· Guitars don't get headaches.

· Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.

· Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.

· Guitars don't care if you're late.

· You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.

· If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.

· You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

· The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.

· When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.

· A guitar has a volume knob.

· If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs Rs 11 for a new one.

· You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free.

· You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.

· You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.

· A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you get rid of it.

· You can break a guitars neck when it pisses you off and NOT go to prison

· You can finger it in public and get applause – NOT ARRESTED

· You can use four fingers at a time on it

· You can finger it for hours without it complaining for more

Messenger

"When the government fears the people, it is called democracy. When the people fear the government, it is called tyranny." Thomas Jefferson

Tyranny, I think it the correct word to describe environment in the countries where government and government organizations can do anything with its people and don't even care for justice of its people. Everyone of these was enjoying unprecedented power and monopoly until a guy called Julliean Assange started a website called wikileaks.com and started publishing all the secret documents that would have never reached to ordinary people without wikileaks.

Wikileaks, a website started with objective of exposing oppressive regimes in Asia, the former Soviet bloc, Sub-Saharan Africa and the Middle East, but also expect to be of assistance to people of all regions who wish to reveal unethical behaviour in their governments and corporations, published its first document in December 2006 and now it is roaring at 1.2million documents.

What made wikileaks different from other way opening government fraud is that before one has to goto media submit it and then wait while wikileaks provided platform to virtually anybody who gets his hands on classified material, to publish such files online for all to see. In starting, 2008, wikileaks used to simple release documents but in last summer it adopted journalistic approach and started editing and posting views about document. In july wikileaks partnered with main stream media by giving them early look at Afghan War diary. In November it published 250,000 diplomatic cables , of USA, describing tension across the globe and the reaction was huge. Wikileaks was all over in media,news paper,Tv, magazines and what not? It earned lot of fame to wikileaks and lot of criticism and wince of politicians.

Founder of EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation) and lyricist John Perry wrote “The field of battle is WikiLeaks, You are the troops”. Last week when US government attempted to stop wikileaks those “troops” fought back. When US senator Joe Liberman urged amazon.com to stop wikileaks and amazon did it, thote troops attacked amazon.com, and by two days WikiLeaks listed 507 Web addresses that it said were hosting the site worldwide. When PayPal, MasterCard and Visa all blocked donations to WikiLeaks. WikiLeaks' backers fought back, though their hacker attacked on some of the sites that shut off WikiLeaks funding may be less effective. After some political pressure and wikileaks proclaim that it was done for “no obvious reason”, the accounts were restored[wikipedia].

While founder is Jullian Paul Assange is behind the bars in sweden under charges of unprotected sex, every one is eagerly waiting for result of this fight between David and Goliath.

What being normal means?

1. Normal is anything that makes us forget who we are and what we want. that way we can work in order to produce, reproduce and earn money.
2. Setting out rules for waging war (Geneva Convention)
3. Spending years to study at university to to find at the end of it all that you are unemployed.
4. Working 9-5 everyday at something that gives you no pleasure at all just so that , after 30 years you can retire.
5. Retiring and discovering that you no longer have energy to enjoy life and dying few years later in sheer boredom.
6. Using botox.
7. Believing that power is much more important than money and money is much more important than happiness.
8. Making fun of anyone who seeks happiness rather than money and accusing them of "Lacking Ambition".
9. Never talking to strangers.
10. Saying nasty things about neighbors.
11. Comparing objects like car, house, clothes and defining life according to those comparison instead of trying to find out real reason for being alive.
12. Believing that your parents are always right.

13. Getting married, having children and staying togather long after all love has died ,saying it is for good of children.

14. Criticizing anyone who tries to be different.
15. Waking up each morning to an hysterical alarm on bed side table.
16. Believing absolutely everything that appears in print.
17. Wearing a scrap of colored cloth around your neck which serves no purpose but which answers to name of "Tie".
18. Never asking direct questions , even though other person can guess that what it is you want to know.
19. Keeping smile on our lips even when you are on verge of crying. Feeling sorry for those who show their feelings.
20. Believing that art is either worth of fortune or worth nothing at all.
21. Despising anything that was easy to achieve because if no sacrifice was involved , it obviously is not worth having.
22. Following current fashion trend, however ridiculous or uncomfortable.
23. Believing that all famous people have tons of money saved up.
24. Investing a lot of time and money in caring bout external beauty and caring little about inner beauty.
25. Using every means possible to show that, although you are just ordinary human being, you area far above other mortals.
26. Never looking at anyone in eye when you are traveling on public transport, in case it is interpreted as a sign that you want to get rid off with them.
27. Standing facing the door in lift and pretending you are the only person in lift, regardless of how crowded it is.
28. Never laughing too loudly in restaurant however good the joke is.
29. Always dressing according to season, bare arms in spring and woolen jackets in autumn.
30. Covering christmas tree with fake snow even though winter has nothing to do with birth of Christ.
31. Assuming, as you grow older you are guardian of world's wisdom, even though you haven't necessarily lived enough to know what's right and what's wrong.
32. Going to charity tea party and thinking you have done your bit toward putting an end to social inequality in the worlds.
33. Eating three times a day even though you are not hungry.
34. Believing that other people are always better than you - better looking, more capable richer, more intelligent - and that its very dangerous to step outside your own limits, so its best to do nothing.
35. Using you car as weapon and as impenetrable armour.
36. Swearing when in heavy traffic.
37. Believing that everything you child does wrong is entirely down to company he/she keeps.
38. Marrying the first person who offers you decent position in society. Love can wait.
39. Always saying "i tried" when you didn't try at all.
40. Postponing doing the really interesting things in life for later when you won't have energy for it.
41. Avoiding depression with large daily dose of television / computer.
42. Believing that you can be sure of everything you have achieved.
43. Assuming that women don't like football and men are not interested in home decoration and cooking.
44. Blaming government for all bad things that happen.
45. Thinking that being good, decent, respectable person will man that other will see you as weak , vulnerable and easy to manipulate.
46. Being equally convinced that aggression and rudeness are synonymous with having "Powerful personality".
47. Being afraid of having endoscopy (if you are man) and giving birth (if you are woman)

Paulo Coelho Roxxxx

Lol land

I read dis on lol land ....
n its really funny...
so i m sharing it here wid u...
njoy...
________________________________________
The Impossible test

Instructions

* lol
* Kya aap paanchvi pass se tez hain?
* You have 15 minutes
* Jai Mata Di Let's Rock

Mathematics
1.What is 1+1? (Do not fall into the obvious trap of writing '2', you have to find 1+1 for extremely large values of 1).
2.If my wife is five years older than I would have been when I got married to her, and five years younger than my mother's current age, explain why I do not have a wife.
3.Using only a ruler and compasses, become the Prime Minister of India.
4.Use the Before-After slimming advertisements put out by VLCC to prove that all numbers (weights) are equal to zero. Next, use the VLCC price catalogue to prove that all numbers are equal to infinity.



Geography
1.Go to Hell.
2.Go around the world in 80 days. You can use as much money as you want, but you are not allowed to apply for a visa anywhere. Also, you have to be back by the time the exam ends (in fifteen minutes).


History

1.Paste your Internet History here (without deleting anything :P).
2.Conduct a general election in the next five minutes, and beat the Congress and BJP combined. You will get extra marks if you help the Left to get any votes.
3.Explain, in not less than three million words, what would have happened if the British had not taken over India. Be concise.


Science
1.Discover three new Newtonian Laws to explain any one Mithun Chakraborty or Rajnikanth movie. If three is too few, you can use up to three million.
2.Discover three new species before the end of this exam. If you want, a ship is available to take you to the New World.
3.Create a product, using only a test-tube and water, that will actually do what Fair and Lovely claims to do.
4.Find a cure for AIDS. too easy common cold.


TV and Bollywood
1.Sign up for Rakhi ka Swayamvar.
2.Watch five hours of Star Plus from 6 PM - 11 PM, without the use of oxygen or other life support. You will be strapped to your chair.
3.In five minutes, dress up so that Govinda looks more decent than you.
4.You are to go and sleep on a pavement. When you are ready, Salman Khan will come driving down the road. Continue sleeping. For bonus points, come back to the exam after he's killed you.


English
1.Will you do frandship with me?


The Toughest of All

1.Answer this question.
2.Run around the streets shouting 'I love Lol-land'.

Hope you enjoyed...

Religion Of Righteous Man

Here i was at Mood Indigo's Most Wackiest and herd some new kind of religion. In first round every participant was told to create new religion and appeal audience to follow it. and i herd about "Religion Of Righteous Man" proposed by a guy called Minotor (his name :P).

Thoughts of Minotor in words of mine.....

What can be religion of man who wants eternal pleasure?
If you lock up some one in a cave without anything then what can that guy do for pleasure?
for eternal pleasure? and the answer is "Masturbation"
Just think one doesn't need anyone for that pleasure ,that pleasure which make you feel like in heaven. Masturbation is only thing by which man can have heavenly pleasure anywhere anytime and don't need any one for help[:P]. Just hand monoeuvre for few moments and yes you are on ninth cloud.
Masturbation is not at all a bad thing,we guys started doing it since we were kid , and whats wrong in following it as a religion? means we do it atleast once everyday(normal people, some do it twice or thrice or more i don't know :P), we can't live without it(if you don't have GF), it make us forget all our worries and problems for a while and we just lost in divine pleasure. Our religion is very free about time and place of "worship" , you can do it at anytime convenient to you and at any place(i tell you ,this one only of its kind in world :P) , you can do it in morning,afternoon,evening,night or if you don't want to do for some time then also no problems, you can do it anywhere which fits you,bathroom,bedroom,livingroom(i never tried :P ) ,your wish. It is religion of no one but its followers, its worshippers.
When Minotor suggested this religion, he didn't think about any name but Purab Kohli(yes,Rock On fame Purab Kohli)suggested name "

Apna Hath Jagannath

" (stop laughing, serious matter is going on) and we thought its totally perfect but still our religion hasn't been named officially your suggestions are welcomed.

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..(-) (Holy Symbol Of Religion-)
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/....\

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.(. .)
..(-)
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.(. .)
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Be a Follower and Spread Our Religion

FYI: All talk is done for boys, sorry gals when this idea was coined we didn't think about you :P

26/11- A Report

शत शत नमन
उन शहीदों को जो हमारी और देश की रक्षा करते हुए शहीद हो गए. हमे न जानते हुए भी हमारे लिए आपनी जान की बाज़ी लगा दी

26/11 Mumbai Attack:
The 2008 Mumbai attacks were more than ten coordinated shooting and bombing attacks across Mumbai, India's financial capital and its largest city. The attacks, which drew widespread condemnation across the world, began on 26 November 2008 and lasted until 29 November, killing at least 173 people and wounding at least 308.
Eight of the attacks occurred in South Mumbai: At Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, The Oberoi Trident, The Taj Mahal Palace & Tower Leopold Cafe, Cama Hospital, the Orthodox Jewish-owned Nariman House, the Metro Cinema, and a lane behind the Times of India building and St. Xavier's College There was also an explosion at Mazagaon, in Mumbai's port area, and in a taxi at Vile Parle. By the early morning of 28 November, all sites except for the Taj Mahal Palace had been secured by Mumbai Police and security forces. An action by India's National Security Guards (NSG) on 29 November resulted in the death of the last remaining attackers at the Taj Mahal Palace, ending all fighting in the attacks.
Mohammad Ajmal Amir, the only attacker who was captured alive, disclosed that the attackers were members of Lashkar-e-Taiba, the Pakistan-based militant organization, considered a terrorist organization by India, the United States, and the United Kingdom, among others. The Indian Government said that the attackers came from Pakistan, and their controllers were in Pakistan.
On 7 January 2009, after more than a month of denying the nationality of the attackers,Pakistan's Information Minister Sherry Rehman officially accepted Ajmal Amir's nationality as Pakistani. On 12 February 2009, Pakistan's Interior Minister Rehman Malik, in a televised news briefing, confirmed that parts of the attack had been planned in Pakistan and said that six people, including the alleged mastermind, were being held in connection with the attacks.


After a whole year ,where we are standing? what did government do? What ?
and the answer is big "NOTHING". Government did nothing for people were affected ,nothing for officials who saved our country from this terror attack, nothing to them who were responsible ,nothing just NOTHING. Relatives of those braves got nothing from government for bravery of their beloved except few words of condolence and bit of money. People who were responsible for this attack are not affected in their jobs after this attack , RR Patil got re-instated as home minister of Maharashtra again,police officials are no suspended and many got promotions too. And we are CELEBRATING first anniversary of this attack.
That guy ,Mohammad Ajmal Amir, is still alive and case about his involvement is still going in court(F***ing decmocracy). Are we bloody assholes? that anyone can come to our country and kick our butt then some brave lads of our country kill them and v clap, politicians proclaim they "condemn this attack" n blah blah n next moment nothing. We feel proud in getting killed those assholes rather feeling ashamed that those assholes attacked our country on white day.
Our(Our Government's) response on this attack has been really woefully inept and shoddy. We could have done whatever we want with pakistan , destroy all terrorist camp n could have put more international pressure on pakistan to take action but instead of doing this we kept sending dossiers to them saying we are peace loving country(F*** this peace). After 26/11 our country lost a real time opportunity to put more pressure on Pakistan and eliminate the state sponsored terrorism there once and for all, otherwise who can explain that the Pakistani government virtually arrested, freed and then again put Mr Hafeez Saeed, Chief of LET and master mind behind 26/11. This shows how pathetic our leaders are and how they just don't care about any damn thing related to our country.

Can we get an assurance from the prime minister that the attacks would stop once and for all? Can we learn anything from America, United Kingdom in how they prevented in another 9/11, 7/7 to happen again. Thing like this has been happening our country since long time and will keep happening until we ,"Aam Aadmi (mango people :P)", will not anything that can make our government take some decisions.

Hope we have learned something from this 26/11 attack that we didn't learn from 1993 bomb blasts. Till that tile who knows who will be next victim of this terror attac k u ,me or someone else?

Jai Hind!
Vande Mataram!

Here is the Solution...

It's really very irritating when someone calls you any time and want to you buy his/her bank's credit card or take loan or insurance any damn thing.

Here are few solutions you can use for those irritating callers...

1 After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask her to marry you.(Always worked for me [:P])

2 Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. (I use this when there is lady with beautiful voice [;)])

3 Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.( I use this mostly when there is guy on caller's end)

4 Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. (I never tried this but it sounds good idea)

5 Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child. (My uncle used to do this [:D])

6 Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.... Louder... Louder... Louder! (Jor se Bolo Jai Mata Di)

7 If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems.... ........." (I read this somewhere)

8 Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down. (Funny .. isnt it?)

9 Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE. (Someone suggested me in chatroom)

10 Tell the ICICI call centre guy to call on your office number - and give him the HSBC call centre number. (Now this is freaking hilarious [R O F L])

UnFiniShd DrEaM....

I was in 7th or 6th , i think , when I always wanted to be a cartoon. I was a big cartoon freak ,when i m at home and watching tv its only cartoon nothing else. I loved everything about cartoons from their names to style of talking , from their attire to gait everything. Even today i love to see cartoon if i get chance.

Many people ask what is there in cartoons ??? but i think they should think what is not there? Means making a cartoon is not a child's play and then different stories ,different demons n heros, adrenaline pumping actions sequences and everything that nothing in this world can provide you. They make you imagine different then normal people thinks what we call is Out Of Box thinking. Look at "Tom and Jerry" cartoons ,it is full of so many brainy things, nonsense acts of tom, jerry's plans for cheese n tom's madness. I don't think any normal human can think these much brainy things.
Cartoons are not only funny they are full of wisdom too. You can check "simpsons". Some cartoons are no less than any science fiction novel like "johny quest","batman of future" which make you think things that science can one day achieve. Then make you think in different manner like you can say "swat cats" their plane ,their weapons ,their style means all that is so exciting.
One can learn many things from cartoons, they make you imagine things, widen your imagination power, tactics and if nothing of these they can be proved good time pass and source of unstoppable laugh.
what u say?

Is it skin color only?

I was doing my usual time pass on orkut and then i found one community ,it's name was very interesting. When i was reading topics i read own guy was abusing one gal .
guy1:salli,R***
guy1:agar ise koi gora mil gaya to uska hi legi salli
guy2:hey dude,wht d hell?u ll also prefer white b**** over any indian babe.

and when i read this , i felt "What the hell is this?"
Does only skin color matter for them to like someone?

Why we Indians are so much obsessed with skin color? One one hand we are protesting racism and if we degrade someone then it is ok.waaah!!! OK. This is not racism but this is not less then it for sure. It looks we are still slave of those white assholes.Everyone wants to look white today. White skin color is still the main feature that drives people crazy. If you see TV, it is also full with these kind of adds. On one side "fair and lovely" is saying it can make you look fair on other side some soap saying "its what you need to if you want to look fair". ok No Offence. But everyone knows that this things can't change your skin color but still people go mad and buy them with hope that it will make them look beautiful.
Does only fair look make someone beautiful? means look at our own Indian beauties like Bipasha Basu,Sameera Reddy,Kajol etc.. they are not white but still they have that grace ,here you can include Ajay Devgan,Akshay Kumar and John Abraham too. These people haven't got fair skin but still they are heart throbe of many.

If you go and find roots then It all goes back to European dominance in the world where White=Better and Black=Bottom line.So the whiter you look to "better" you are. Similar to the color bias placed on lighter skinned Black people. And it still going strong today and we are still slave of that mentality. If some girl looks white she is said to be more beautiful and get more attention just because of her skin and brown skinned girl doesn't get that attention.
and this things say one thing...
Are we ,Indians, less racist then those white skinned people?
???
??
?

हम बहुसंख्यक कहाँ जाएँ

"इमरान हाश्मी तो मीडिया मै गया हम बहुसंख्यक कहाँ जाए

हमारे अपने देश मै ,कश्मीर मै जहाँ मुस्लिम ज्यादा हैं ,वहां हिन्दू कोई जमीन नहीं खरीद सकते और जिन हिन्दुओं की वहां जमीने थी ,उन पर मुसलमानों ने कब्जा कर के हिन्दुओं को वहां से भगा दिया |अमरनाथ के यात्रा करने वालो को आराम के लिए जमीन न देने का नोटंकी मुस्लिम्स ने अभी कुछ दिन पहले की तब मीडिया को नीद आ रही थी क्या जो इमरान की चिंता मै मीडिया पागल हो गया है |इमरान हासमी के लिए तो एक बिल्डिंग मै माकन न ले पाने की बात है 'हम हिन्दू तो पुरे कश्मीर की बात करते है तब ये सेकुलर मीडिया कहाँ सो जाता है"

I read this on some community on orkut, when i read it first time i found it totally true means its reality in India . If you go to Kashmir ,you will find that there are very few Hindus who are living like they are living in a free country ,everywhere there is terror in air. I don't want to say that Kashmiri people hate Hindus but they like them just when they come ,visit their place and then go. They don't want anyone except Muslims in Kashmir.
And things in interior part are even worse, you won't find single non muslim in villages of that region and that Amarnath matter,that also shows how unwilling these people are toward other religions ,their orthodox minds just can't accept other religions. My point here is not to disrespect any religion but their orthodox thoughts. I agree there are many Muslims who are not orthodox but as they say "one dirty fish can spoil whole pond" and here problems is that there are many dirty fishes so u can understand how worst the situation is. Don't take me wrong that I hate Muslims, APJ Kalam sir is my one of the favourite scientist and Zaheer Khan my favourite bowler. I know there are lakhs and lakhs of Muslim brothers in police and army fighting for our country, I know we got independence not because of only Mahatma Gandhi but because united efforts of all those Hindus and Muslims who lost their life in struggle of freedom. I know all this,but i love only them who are Indian in their heart, for others who celebrate pakistan's happiness I have a suggestion that they should go to pakistan, I don't care what that person is, a Hindu, a Muslim ,a Sikh or a a Christian, he/she should be an Indian first and thats it and we have no religion except one and that is Indianism .
Jai Hind! Vande Mataram!

An Open Letter

This letter i read somewhere and found it really heart touching...
This is my first post on thins blog and i think this is really good to start with some thing like this letter.
This letter was from Suresh Elangovan,CEO & MD of Mindlogicx Infotech Limited, to today's youth.
so ,by not taking much time...
handover to Mr. Elangovan...

My dear friend!

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and trampled into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But disregard of what has happened or what will happen you will never lose your value. You are special and don’t ever forget this. Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow tomorrow’s dreams.

A Dream for Every One

Every one of you have a dream in your life. It’s normally a dream that needs nourishment all the time and a dream that you would like to live to relish. But sometimes your dreams slip by you, as you watch helplessly and it becomes an unfinished agenda in your life. Then it becomes one among the hundreds of thousands of dreams that are difficult for many of us to realize. When you don’t realize your dream, you tend to think that destiny has played in your life. You reconcile yourself with what is called fate and think you are a child of destiny. It all started with the belief that you are a typical child of destiny and started believing that you are indeed God’s child, programmed to-be-so and to-do-so. But the fact is different. You are here by choice. Not by design of destiny that has programmed you to be.

Do You Remember Those Days?

It has been many years since you last saw the beginnings and ends of academic sessions, semesters, and holidays. Do you remember those days in your college when you played tricks to bunk classes of the physics professor and the ‘reason’ to attend the classes of lecturer Latika. Do you still remember the days when you struggled to get some pocket money, enjoy eating the canteen food (have you ever measured the viscosity of the dhal supplied?), drinking ‘bi-two’ tea during the month end, going triples in your friend’s bike and not having the money to pay the fines to traffic cops (do you still call them uncles?), dreaming about the next door girl (is she still going to college with her father?), and finally thinking about your own future too?

You must have had the first crush while at school. The ‘special some one’ would have been your neighborhood beauty or your classmate or schoolmate or some one you met in your uncle’s party. You must have felt that the person was awesome. You must have liked the way your ‘special some one’ dressed, walked, and smiled at you. Then, again, you must have fallen in love with ‘some other special one’ in your life and thought you had found everlasting love. Unfortunately, it was not to be. Living with shattered dreams could do more damage than chain smoking (statutory warning), and of course not a nice feeling one could carry on with. But as the saying goes, life always gives you a second chance and one has to be an optimist always.

Evolution of ‘You’ in the ‘Youniverse’

At the age of five, your parents must have told you that you would become an engineer or doctor (because they liked the idea of their ward carrying a T-square or wearing a stethoscope around the neck - thanks to the many films they had seen); at 10 your uncle must have told you to study a foreign language; at 15 you must have decided to become a cricketer (because, it’s always nice to be famous and have lots of money, shoot for ad films, and party with the latest Bollywood stars, leave alone batting for India); and may be now you have realized that you should become a professional (whatever it takes to be). When you move forward and enter yet another year, you will realize that the dreams have faded away into mere memories while reality takes you forward. You certainly need someone to handhold you, mentor you, and put you on track. You need someone to administer the right treatment to make you a successful breed. In short, can we say you need some ‘uncle’ to help you realize your dreams or goals? But then who is this person and where on earth you can find him? The right way is to be yourself in the ’youniverse’ where every one wants you to be some one else and make the difference to be noticed and earn some recognition. You need to create a space for yourself in the ‘youniverse’ to become successful and I am sure the uncle will be glad to help you do so. A word of caution though, don’t try to impress a girl with the uncle’s riches, or else one day she might become your aunty.

So What are You Looking for?

So you must be wondering as to what are you supposed to do now? You are here, as I said earlier, by choice and not by design. You must now make the right choice and the right move by equipping yourself to be industry-ready. I am sure that you would know by now that you don’t get a second chance to make the first impression.

Have you ever thought about your future? A future that can give you a life filled with joy and a sense of fulfillment? Do you wish to carry forward and cherish all your dreams? Do you think that you ‘can do it’ in your life, or that you have to make compromises just because you are not going to get the immunity as a student any more and will have to face the cruel world? Did your father say that he too faced a cruel world and worked hard to bring you up? Don’t you think that you should break the shackles and break free and realize all your dreams? Don’t you think you should have the liberty to play your game in your own style, in your own pace, and on your own terms? All set in your ‘youniverse’, specially created for you.

How do you think you can do this? How can you bridge the gap between your long cherished dreams and your life? While you had seen the best of your college life, you should also get to know about your future that can possibly fulfill your dreams. Secure your future by making yourself ‘employable’ or ‘self employable’. Use the power of technology to achieve your personal aims and professional goals.

Be a Part of Knowledge Society

For fifty years we have been a developing nation; it is time we saw ourselves as a developed nation. We are among the top five nations of the world in terms of GDP. We have a growth rate of 10 percent in most areas. Our poverty levels are falling and our achievements are being globally recognized and appreciated today. India must stand up to the World; unless India stands up to the world, no one will respect us as a nation - only strength respects strength. We must be strong, not only as a military power, but also as an economic power. This is our vision, and it can be none other than transforming India into a developed nation. The government alone cannot achieve this vision and we need a people’s movement in the country; and this is the time to ignite the minds of people to join this movement. We must all share this vision and deliver knowledge to the needy using innovative technologies. We must be committed to propel the national economy through a knowledge based eco system.

Our former president Abdul Kalam rightly said, “Ignited minds of the youth are the greatest resource compared to any resource of the earth, under the earth, and above the earth. When ignited minds work and perform with an indomitable spirit, a prosperous, happy, and safe India is assured.”

Powering India’s Knowledge Competency

With India’s seemingly endless flow of young and motivated engineers, scientists, and business managers offering world-class skills in almost every area of global business, we are emerging as the next ‘superpower’. It is heartening to note that we are poised for an explosive growth and are heralded as a potential economic superpower by 2020. But are we in a position to really live up to this expectation or will it just end up as a hollow hype? With many multi-national companies setting up operations in India, there is a sudden demand for skilled workforce in retail and the IT enabled services like BPO and KPO. There is a requirement of human potential to handle high volume business. To enable this we must adopt to smart technology assisted learning system and create a knowledge based eco system that can convert the erstwhile weakness (over population) into an opportunity (human resource based) by providing various reskilling and upskilling programs to the needy in association with experts in particular domains. There is a great demand for skilled professionals while the supply is low. Our universities are unable to bridge the gap and provide skilled manpower that the industries are looking for and hence there is a greater demand for adoption of technology to deliver knowledge on-demand.

Experts opine that there must be a skills based pedagogy built into our educational system to provide various means of reskilling or upskilling to the students in the science, commerce, engineering, and management disciplines and make them employable or job ready. These courses are more like vocational programs and they should be able to enhance the skills of students in order to make them ‘employable’ or ‘self employable’ or enable them to transform themselves from being job seekers to job providers. Our target should be the millions of graduates like you who have the energy to make this mission a reality. What is needed is the ‘hand holding’, a mentoring process by which we can make you become ‘job ready’. The focus should be to convert the human population into human potential and make one employable in the areas of his or her expertise.

What Next?

Do you know that the greatest distance between two people, the toughest communication between two hearts, and the longest journey between two places are ‘between you and your employer’? A dedicated approach towards life is absolutely essential for you to reach the stars. There is nothing impossible if you can believe in your dreams and work towards it. Your dreams should float impatiently in your mind till you reach your goal.

I sincerely believe that the dreams of one billion Indians can’t go wrong. You are one among them; don’t let your dream go wrong. We are here to incubate your dreams.

With sincere wishes for a successful tomorrow.